Day Two, Koko

Today? Top o'the world, Ma!

I spent the afternoon with some of my ladies, watching them eat truffle fries and drink shots of Chivas Regal. Oh, yes, these are my kind of friends. Me? Two eggs, side of bacon, arugula salad, thank you very much. Black coffee, belly laughs and a tarot card reading ensued. (I'm due some pretty extraordinary stuff, in case you were wondering. Four of wands coming at Koko in the New Year, what what?)

So I didn't exactly starve but I didn't come home tanked and bloated either. For this I am thankful.

It's a good idea to lay out my resolutions, as Lolo has taken the time to do. I'm mentally swimming in fog a bit right now so mine are pretty basic. My biggest intention this year is to cultivate gratitude for what I have right now. If I can be happy because I'm grateful rather than waiting to be grateful when I am more happy I think I'll be on the right track. So getting back to gratitude practice (which in my case manifests as nightly list-making as well as frequent muttering of "Thank you thank you thank you" under my breath as I go through my day) is my first order of resolution business.

I resolve to move more. (I have to make this resolution because I am never ever in danger of being compulsive about exercise.) I had a trainer when I lived in my city. Twice a week she would bring her cute retro-styled self and flirt with my kid and we'd talk about cocktails and boys while I lifted heavy things and did irritating things like planks. I miss her and I miss the nicer abs I had when I knew her. In Marci's honor I resolve to add some crunches and some pushups to my daily routine, and a couple of jogs a week.

I resolve to keep up with my yoga. I had a pretty serious practice-changing two weeks with these incredible people this fall. I learned a lot and really embraced Iyengar in a way I had always been too macho to do before. I came home and my usual class that I'd previously loved felt not so perfect anymore (and not just because I couldn't hear the ocean through the studio door). Still, it was a class and I made it there faithfully until my studio moved across town. Since I likely won't follow I resolve to keep it up at home. Just simple things, a little bit every day. Some forward bending, some downward facing dogs. Easy peasy.

I resolve to keep up writing. I let it go when I did it professionally and now it's like the creative impulses have been squoze from my self-concept. I would like but am too low and shy right now to resolve to finding a music project to engage in with others. So this year I will keep that resolution simpler and more privately-oriented and call it resolving to learn to play guitar better.

There are the things I mentioned peviously-- losing weight and improving skin, but I'm seeing those more as predicted outcomes than as resolutions. And I have other things, like keeping a cleaner house, being more patient, being a more engaged parent. No texting on the playground. Maybe getting away from Disgracebook forever. I am toying with the idea of running a half marathon again, perhaps in the fall.

In food news, the kid is a natural little caveboy. We were pretty Weston Price-y before (and I was frequently too unprepared to have the grains set up for meals) so it's not a huge leap. It's not like he was doing all-Cheerios all the time but I did think he would miss all the Christmas treats a bit more than he has. He ate two big bowls of beef and veg soup this evening and then snacked on homemade sauerkraut with not a complaint. Meanwhile the Dubious Tall Guy munched chocolate covered almonds in the next room, but that's another story.

Yours,
koko

Pre-Paleo Countdown: More Emo Koko, Now with Skin!

Koko Day T-minus-three

Oh, feelings. Some major things I'm eager to see affected on this paleo experiment are mental. I have depressive tendencies and some post-traumatic stress, according to my cadre of social scientists. I'm still nursing a toddler so I'm not a great candidate for pharmaceutical enhancement. That's all well and good; I generally love to go it au naturale. I'm trained as an herbalist and I avoid so much as an aspirin when I have a headache. But for depression and anxiety, I've had my best successes in the following ascending order:

Wellbutrin worked well.

Acupuncture worked better

Training for a half marathon worked by far the best.

Problem is, when you're down you're down and even brewing up a strong happy-making tea feels like a hell of a mountain. Getting in for twice-weekly acupuncture and running every day are great ideas but pretty much not going to happen.

So I expect and hope to decrease blood sugar spikes and dips while increasing energy. I went through a somewhat manic period concurrent with my last paleo experiment so I don't know if it was the great food or the crazy in my brain that made me want to jog and yoga at all hours. Now that I'm in a decidedly more reflective place (reflective: that's a nicer word than sad, isn't it?) I am curious to see how the dietary change affects my mind.

On the skin front, I am in the depths of monthly hormone-itis but left the house without feeling the need for even a speck of concealer. The pimplage that was in constant eruption during most of December's sugar- and booze-fest has died down into something not yet luminous but no longer looking like gravel paved over. So there is encouraging progress already.

A roast is slow cooking in a heavy french pot; oxtails are thawing for some later project; meatloaf is baking and smelling delicious if I bothered to sniff.

Amazing that I can eat a cow for breakfast and still feel like the bottom of the food chain.

Yours,
Koko

The image above came from this site.