Met up with Koko and some of our other beautiful friends for a birthday party at a super fancy restaurant where I paid 29.33 for two glasses of Pinot for me and the Goose. My New Year's resolution is not to freak out about money. We have been saving up all of 2010 to do IVF. We have about 70% of as much as we need. So, that's not bad. But this year of scrimping and saving has turned me into a worry wart of sorts when it comes to the finances. I hate that. I used to have more of a devil may care attitude about finances, but now I'm scared all the time. I've hit that scarcity place. I know that money is simply energy, it flows in, it flows out, you can't "make" money per say, the same way you can't make water, it's all recycled and flows in different ways, you can just influence the direction of it. Yet, I feel scared constantly. It makes me feel like a loser. I don't want to worry and scrimp and save and be in scarcity mode. It's something I need to look at and find a new perspective.
The food was awesome. We had portobello french fries dipped in some good ass shit. I know it wasn't Hidden Valley Ranch dressing, but yeah, it was that good. Then we had this Ahi salad and a vegetarian casserole thing in the end. We actually could have had a full on Paleo meal there if need be, but we didn't. I wound up again, with a huge headache. Me and the Goose left early and he commented that I get less headaches and am less fatigued when I'm doing Paleo. Then he gave me his support for our 30 days and our blog. So that was good. Then I cried in the car on the way home. I don't know why. It's just been a hard year. I was telling the Goose that I'm just not over a lot of the shit that we've been through this year. He told me that he didn't expect me to be. So that was good. Now I'm laying in bed with a headache while he makes tea for us. It's kind of sweet. Soon we'll watch the Nanny. He's obsessed with Fran Drescher. It's weird, but it's good. I wore my favorite blue DVF wrap dress tonight and felt a little less comfortable in it than I have throughout most of the fall. Again, the December padding is rearing it's ugly head. But I think I'm being oversensitive. It's probably not noticeable to anyone other than myself and our friend (we'll call him Carroll) who notices whenever anyone gains or loses weight. I always find that odd for a straight man. Speaking of odd for a straight man, there was a cadre of gay men at the party this evening. At first I thought that they were there for our friend (I'll call her Mandy), but then I realized that they were there for their own separate party. It seems like Mandy would have a huge gay following, like Cher or Judy Garland or even Bette Midler. At one point, one of the men from the party came over to talk to her and then wound up flirting with her husband who is decidedly bear like. We in fact call him "the Griz" like as in Grizzly Bear. Anyway, none of that is Paleo-ish. But since I've not started doing Paleo, I don't have it to talk about it. Oh yeah, the reason I decided to start on January 2nd instead of January 1st is that we have dinner at my cousin's house on New Year's night and his lady friend is a vegetarian, so I assume she'll be serving up pasta or something like that.
The Goose and Mr. Koko had a good laugh about this blog tonight. They're going to write a blog together that's anti-us. We think it will look like this:
Day One: I wish I had spaghetti, but the wife made me chicken and kale. Lame.
Day Two: I sure wish I had spaghetti, but the wife made steak and brussell sprouts. God, why can't she just make me spaghetti, it's not like it's hard.
Day Three: The wife made me bacon and eggs for breakfast this morning. It was lame because I wanted a spaghetti omelet. Sad face.
Day Four: The wife made me cookies out of coconut flour and cocoa nibs. I wish that I had a cookie. The nibs are nasty. The cat licked one of them though.
Day Five: If it were up to me, I'd have wine and spaghetti for dinner tonight. But it looks like a kale and butternut squash melange. Butter Junk! I'm so mad.