This is getting hard. Doing this and not being in my own home with my own bare cupboards.
But, alas, I am still diehard, in a restaraunt, on the road (spent 7 hours in the car today), at my parents house, etc.
Went to visit my Aunt and Grandma and cousin today in a neighboring town. Not a super easy visit. Grandma is really getting up there in years (88!) and not aging well or gracefully. Her mind is going, her body is going and she's all lethargic and not herself. That was hard, but not the worst part of the visit. Afterward, my Aunt, my cousin and I went for lunch. At this point my Aunt told me that my Grandma requested that she not be be buried in the plot next to my Grandpa's (who died 32 years ago). And then my Aunt went on to tell me that she recently found out that my Grandpa used to beat the crap out of my Grandma. I knew that he was very abusive toward my mother and Aunt, but I didn't know that he was also beating up my Grandma. Then I found out that she tried to leave when my mom was a baby, but her mother (my great grandma) said that she couldn't come home and "you made your bed, lay in it." Disgusting. But the point is, my Aunt wants to bury my grandmother in a whole different state then where my mother and grandfather is. And so my Aunt wants us to dig up my mother and transport her remains across the country so she can be buried with her and my Grandma. It was not the conversation I wanted to have.
Then, to make matters worse, I found out that my cousin, who is 33 years old is about to become a Grandmother. Yup, her 18 year old is preggers. Okay, it's her 18 year old stepdaughter. Her husband is 36. He had her with his first wife at 18, and now he's going to be a real Grandfather at 36. My cousin herself has three beautiful kids of her own, an 11 year old, an 8 year old and a 5 year old. Now, the last shocker of the day is that she and her husband are getting a divorce. They've been married for 12 years. My aunt told me and said that she was totally blindsided. I asked her what happened and my aunt said, "she's just done!" So, then I asked my cousin and she said that she was bored and that he's a workaholic, and the whole relationship made her miserable, so she left him. So, now it's her and the three kids. I was feeling nervous, but she seems happy about the whole thing. She said that she's going out and having fun, and meeting people, and she went to massage school and skin care school and now she's going to start working, which is cool because I don't think that she ever has worked before. She married the dude she went to high school prom with. In fact, she couldn't even drink legally at her wedding. So it seems like she's ready for the next phase of her life. And she looks beautiful and seems happy. But man, what a shocker of a day! Lot's going on with my family. I was overwhelmed on the way home.
Food was. coffee and coconut milk
steak & eggs
lunch: gigantic salad with eggs, chicken, ham, bacon, olive oil, soup with spinach, bacon, onions, tea
dinner: more salad, thai coconut soup with chicken, chicken breast, ribs, big fruit salad.
no exercise today.
My eczema continues to break out and not only that, I'm breaking out with cystic acne on my face and ears. I'm wondering if I'm eating too many nuts. I've got an allergy to Brazilian nuts, so I've just been eating walnuts and cashews and pecans and macademias and pistachios and almonds and coconuts. I've been eating these things by the bucketful. I'm thinking I might try to cut down on nuts and see how that goes.
Yeah, I can't recall ever buying a pastry at a cafe. But it's mostly because I don't necessarily crave them. I don't have a huge sweet tooth. If I am craving sweets, it's not like a pastry, but more likely a cookie or a brownie. Once in a while I'll get one of those, but my breakfast cravings are more for things like bagels & cream cheese.
kisses kisses kisses.